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Each week, I get letters by email, on my website, by Twitter and on Facebook from women who are sending money to Africa and Afghanistan to help service members come home.

This is a scam!! These are not men who are in the United States military. They are scam artists preying on desperate women.

Related: Military Romance Scams: Are You a Target?

Can you spot the signs of a military dating scammer?

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Dear Ms. Vicki,

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I met a sergeant in the Army on Facebook from the Zoosk dating site. We have been texting since May. His name is Sgt. Larry Williams, and he was in Afghanistan from Fort Campbell.

He started asking me to send $400 for a secure phone line. I tried to raise the money but was making myself sick trying. He says he was deployed to Africa about three weeks ago, and kept asking about the money. I told him I just did not have it.

His response was that he could not take the texting, so I said I guess that meant that we were over. He responded that he would rather forget about the phone than to lose me.

Sincerely,

Is He For Real?

*****

Hi, Ms. Vicki.

I really need your help because I’m trying to help my Army guy from Fort Campbell. You see, he is deployed and he needs my help financially or he cannot come home from downrange and see me for his R&R because he has to pay his fees.

His commander contacted me and said he still needs $12,000 before he can be released. At first, it was three thousand and I sent it. Then I was contacted saying he needs more.

This man is the love of my life and I really want to be with him. He has been through so much on these deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. It’s so unfair that the military would put all of these restrictions on them before releasing them. He needs to relax and enjoy himself instead of going from one war to the next. He hasn’t been home in three years!

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What can I do to draw attention to my soldier’s situation? Should I call my congressman, my senator -- who?

Sincerely,

Stuck in a Serious Situation

*****

Dear Ms. Vicki,

I’m writing you to find out if I am being scammed by this man who I met on Facebook. He is a lieutenant colonel in the army and stationed at Fort Campbell. We have been communicating online for the past year. He really has my heart now, and I can’t wait to finally be in his arms.

He is in special operations and has a lot of covert operations. One minute, he is in Afghanistan and the next minute he is in Africa. I have to send him money from time to time so that he can stay in constant communication with me, but that’s OK because I understand that he cannot have access to his money because he is constantly on the go.

I hadn’t heard from him for over three weeks, and I was so worried. Two days ago, he called me and said he needs money so he can come home. First, he will go to Nebraska to visit his family and then he will come and see me in Kentucky.

I’m supposed to pay $3,500 in fees to his unit so they can release him, and he will give me the money when he comes home and goes to his bank, Wells Fargo.

My family is very upset with me because they think I’m crazy for sending money to someone I have never met. I think I’m in love and helping a man who is serving our country. They say I’m being scammed. What do you think, Ms. Vicki?

Sincerely,

Please Tell Me I Am Not Being Scammed

*****

Each of these letters has a clue that shows the correspondent is a military romance scammer, not an actual service member. Below is our list of military scammer clues. Did you spot these clues? Did I miss any?

Met on a dating site. Lots of military members do use dating sites to meet people in their community. But you should know that bad guys use dating sites, too. They are trolling for women they can scam. If this “service member” swears he loves you and wants to marry you before he has even met you, beware. If he asks for money, it is a scam. Report him to the website and stop communicating with him.

Gives an imaginary name. Just because someone you met online gives you a name, rank, duty station or even military ID card, that doesn’t mean that this is a real person. It probably means they just have Photoshop. If they ask for money, it is a scam.

Cannot access his bank account. Military members can access their money from overseas. They pay bills online, buy items from websites and even arrange for car loans. If they ask you for money -- even a loan, this is a scam.

Needs money to come home from down range. During a year-long deployment, service members may be sent home for R&R. Their travel arrangements are made and paid for by the government. If they ask for money, it is a scam.

Commanding officer calls. Commanding officers in the United States military do not call girlfriends, fiancées or family members asking for money. If they ask for money, this is a scam.

Can’t get internet, food or travel money. Service members do not have to pay for internet connections, food or travel expenses etc. while deployed. Even if a service member misses a connecting flight, the military takes care of this. If someone you met online claims to be stranded in an airport, do not send them money. If they ask for money, this is a scam.

Claim to be Special Forces. Liars love to claim they are in Delta Force, Army Rangers, Navy Seals or Special Ops. If these individuals really were in special ops, they would never tell you -- never. If they ask for money, this is a scam.

Deployed for three years. Military members can be sent on an unaccompanied tour for a year or two. Deployments in the past have lasted up to fifteen months. Claiming to be deployed for three years is a play for your pity. If they ask for money, this is a scam.

Your family and friends think you are crazy. If your family and friends think this is a scam, it is. These people know you and they are not blinded by love. They know if someone asks you for money, it is a scam.

You suspect this isn’t for real. If you think this person you are talking to online isn’t for real, you are probably right. Trust yourself and stop communicating now before he asks you for money.

Women, please stop being so naïve and gullible. One woman wrote me and said she had given more than $20,000 to a man who is supposedly a service member. Afterward, she was a victim of bank fraud and her home was vandalized.

The man she was communicating with knew all of her personal information, including where she lived. This is serious because this woman put her life in jeopardy! She quickly moved to a different location.

The bottom line is that if you are communicating with a 'service member' who starts asking you for money, don’t pass go. Stop communicating with him immediately. He may have stolen the identity of someone real.

These scammers are professionals who know just how to tug your heartstrings. The people behind military dating scams do not give up easily. Block their emails, their Facebook posts, their texts, their phone calls.

So what can you do about a scammer? Unforutnately, there isn't much you can do. Scammers are frequently located overseas, limiting prosecution options U.S. officials have.

If you feel you have been scammed by a person claiming to be in the U.S. military, your best bet is to contact the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3).

Spending your money -- and more importantly the hours of your life -- on a scam artist is not bringing you closer to love. Mark your involvement with a scammer as a mistake and keep a sharp eye out the next time.

Keep Up with the Ins and Outs of Military Life

For the latest military news and tips on military family benefits and more, subscribe to Military.com and have the information you need delivered directly to your inbox.

How much time you spend together when you first start dating is a hot topic of debate in my friendship group. Even though I appreciate that everyone is different, I'm always in the camp of not seeing each other too much, so you don't fall into a love bubble and get an unrealistic sense of someone. But some of my friends started spending five nights a week together with people they were dating — right from the very first date. Each option has their pros and cons. I've been told that I seem unavailable or not very interested, while some of my friends have come across as needy. It's a hard balance to strike. So, is there a right answer?

Well, licensed clinical psychologist Seth Meyers thinks so. He recently wrote in Psychology Today in favor of 'the once-a-week rule for new relationships'. Which is pretty much what it sounds like: you start out seeing each other only once a week, then slowly build up. He explains: 'To naysayers who say that new lovers should throw caution to the wind and let things flow organically, I would respond by saying that two people who are meant to be together will end up together, regardless of whether they see each other once a week or five times a week. To be safe, couples would serve themselves well to see each other once a week for the first month, and then increase the frequency with each week after that point. Most importantly, men and women should not feel anxious or rushed in forging a new relationship. The less anxious they feel, the better chance the relationship has of lasting.'

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It makes a lot of sense. Here are some reasons why the once-a-week rule is one to live by — or at least one to consider.

You Can Bond Too Quickly

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That spark when you first meet someone who you click with can be totally intoxicating, but you don't want the bond to form too quickly. 'When you meet someone you like and feel attracted to, it is perfectly normal to want to see that person all the time,'Meyers writes. 'But simply wanting something, of course, does not necessarily mean that it is good for you. If you meet someone you like and spend several nights together in the first week, or spend multiple hours with them over the course of several days, you will typically start feeling a sense of intense emotional closeness. But when you stop to think about it, does it make sense to feel emotionally close to someone you've just met? The problem with this dynamic is that seeing each other too frequently in the very beginning forges an illusion of intimacy and dependence, even though each person truly knows that it takes months — or even years — to truly get to know someone.'

You hardly know someone, yet you're developing an emotional dependency on them — that's a scary thought.

You're Getting A Warped View

And it's not just that you're becoming dependent on them, it's that you're becoming dependent on a particular version of them, the one that you meet when you first start dating. 'When you first meet someone, the information you begin to acquire is over-emphasized,' Anita A. Chlipala, LMFT, and author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couple's Guide to Lasting Lovetells Bustle. 'You don’t have much to go on in the beginning, so the actions your date takes or the details they give you take on more significance.

In a long-term relationship, you’ve spent more time with someone and you have a bigger context into which to put their behaviors and quirks.' So if you spend too much time together, you take the few bits that you know about the person and then just project what you want to onto the rest. Then you fall for that person, before you learn who they really are.

You Can Get Into A Commitment That You Don't Really Want

The really worrying part of all this is not just falling for someone, but potentially committing to someone before you actually have gotten to know them. 'Believe it or not, commitment is the one thing that you should never rush in a relationship,' dating expert Noah Van Hochman tells Bustle. '...you should take your time before your actions signify that the person you are with is without a doubt the one you envision your future with. Let things happen at their own pace and don’t push anything that may take time.' When you're spending a lot of time together, that's difficult to do. I've seen friends get into relationships because it just seems like the default after they've been seeing someone three times a week for a month — but you don't want to commit to something just because of a default.

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I'm always wary of hard and fast rules, because there are always exceptions. But, as a guideline, once a week makes a lot of sense. It allows you to make sure you really get to know the person you're falling for and, more importantly, can stop you from running into a commitment you'll regret.